Category: Forgiveness

Forgive – Forget? 8 Healing Strategies


Forgive – Forget? I know from experience it is not easy to let go of an incident that has caused you pain. Forgiving the person that caused the pain is a challenge for sure, but so important to thriving as a woman over 50! It is a gift you give yourself!

In many cases, the other person might not even care if you forgive them. You forgive others because the evidence is in. It is healthy, you feel better all around, you take back your power and enjoy your life again. It is definitely the best thing you can do for yourself. If the other person benefits, even better.

You Can Do This! – Consider These Healing Strategies

1. Understand what forgiveness really means. Some people erroneously believe that forgiveness means giving the other person a chance to hurt you again. This isn’t necessarily so. You can forgive someone and make the decision to never speak to them again. Forgiveness simply means that you’re not going to dwell on the situation anymore. You’ve decided to not feel bad about it anymore. You’re moving on with your life and letting go of the past.

2. Accept that the past can never be changed. There’s no time machine to undo what has been done. There’s nothing the other person can say that will completely erase what happened. The only way you’ll be okay is to forgive.

3. What do you believe you’re gaining from not forgiving? Are you punishing the other person? Do you believe that your anger is the proper response, so you’re simply going to maintain it? What do you gain from holding on to your pain?
Some people refuse to forgive someone that they never even see anymore. Your hurt and anger have absolutely no impact on someone in this situation. They’ve moved on with their lives, and you’re only punishing yourself.

Spend a Little PRODUCTIVE Time with Your Pain

4. Acknowledge your pain. You can’t release pain that you’re not willing to acknowledge. Sit with your pain and avoid judging it. Just feel it and notice its qualities. Where do you feel it in your body? How would you describe it? Acknowledge and evaluate your pain honestly.

5. Understand the cost of not forgiving. What is it costing you to maintain your feelings of resentment? Is it preventing you from enjoying your life? Are you unable to have another relationship? Is it keeping you up at night? Do you feel angry all day? Withholding forgiveness isn’t free. It costs you in some way.

6. List the benefits of forgiving. Obviously, all of the costs of not forgiving are erased, but there’s more. There’s peace and freedom. There’s the knowledge that you have control over your emotions. You know that you have choices to change how you feel. Consequently, what can you do for yourself that’s more beneficial than forgiveness? Here is another article I wrote on forgiveness: http://womenover50thrive.com/examples-of-forgiveness-in-the-bible

You May Never Forget – Forgiving Is Key to a Healthy You

7. Forgive. Make the decision to let it go. Avoid thinking about the matter anymore. When your thoughts drift back to that situation, gently direct them to something else. Make a list of things that bring you happiness and keep it nearby.

8. Learn. What lesson can you take away from the situation? It might be obvious, like “Don’t get involved with someone that has a drug addiction,” or “Never loan money to a friend.” Maybe it’s something subtler. Where there’s pain, there’s usually a lesson to be learned.

In closing ladies, make the decision to forgive and move on. The pain you’re causing yourself isn’t worth holding onto your angst. Evaluate your resistance to forgiveness by listing the costs of maintaining that position, and then list the benefits of letting go. Let go of your pain, you have everything to gain! Forgive those who have hurt you, forgive yourself if you have caused pain and…..

Thrive! OK?

forgive forget

Image courtesy of: Chronic Joy Ministry

Image courtesy of: symphony of love

Photo By symphony of love

Examples of Forgiveness in the Bible

examples of forgiveness in the bibleExamples of forgiveness in the Bible are forthcoming, but first I’d like to cover a few important aspects of forgiveness. In simple terms, forgiveness is an act whereby we extend mercy and kindness to a person who has caused us hurt or harm.

  • Forgiveness is a key principle and even better, an action which is central to many faiths. And regardless of religious affiliations…
  • Forgiveness is an act which promotes health and well-being in any human being.
  • Forgiveness impacts life on many levels, including longevity and quality of life.
  • Forgiveness and lack of forgiveness have major implications on healthy aging.

examples of forgiveness in the bibleJesus goes as far as to say that we will not be forgiven if we do not forgive (Matthew 6:15). If we are unforgiving, we run the risk of bringing that anger and resentment into every new relationship. It can cause us to be anxious or depressed, and can steal our present joy as we concentrate on the past.

To stay on subject, I will relate this to issues involving healthy aging. There are life events which cause aging people anguish of body or mind. We are faced with forgiveness opportunities consistently. Children who don’t visit, our mistakes in parenting, betrayals in friendships, friends and family dying, failing health, loneliness, and life going by with dreams not realized are just a few.

Aging happens, and its effects are seen every day as a reflection in the mirror. When we see that aging person looking back at us, it can cause anguish of mind. Right? It needs forgiveness. These events and many more can build up day by day, until the chemistry in the brain begins to change. Forgiveness is a heart issue yes, but it affects the whole person, body, mind and spirit.

Here are Two Examples of Forgiveness in the Bible

The first is the story of the woman caught in adultery.examples of forgiveness in the bible

Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

“Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” John 8:1-11 NLT

As far as examples of forgiveness in the Bible go, there is probably none greater than the account of Jesus on the cross. After being beaten, betrayed and hung on a cross to die, some of His last words were heard, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.”

examples of forgiveness in the bible

I realize forgiveness can be a heavy thing. Some things that happen to us are very hard to forgive, but in order to thrive, we must. If we do not forgive, we are not on the side of goodness and mercy. It will eat away at us in some way, shape or form. Try to exemplify these two examples of forgiveness in the Bible…Forgive others, yourself, and God, and you will thrive!

Thrive! OK? … Robin

 


Diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease – A Whole New World

diagnosis of Alzheimer'sWhen someone receives a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s Disease, a whole new world opens up; both for the one diagnosed and for those in their circle, everything changes. My mom died five years ago this June. She had a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s disease. Thankfully, she didn’t lose all her capabilities. She told the same stories over and over, ones she enjoyed. Ones that made her laugh. She still had a wit about her. Continue reading…